Jesus Christ | Jake's Little Void

Back off, Cupid.

Posted on Feb 11, 2019 by Jk Andrew

It’s only three days before Valentine’s. Do you have a date? Society’s pressure is nibbling at the back of your mind even as you desperately try to keep it at bay. “I need to get work done”, you helplessly mutter before you continue your tapping onto your laptop. We both know you’re not foolish enough to think anyone’s going to buy your false confidence; you can’t even fool yourself.

You stalk your exes to see if anyone’s as desperate to try again even just for a week, even if just for a day or two. As you hover on the message button on messenger and lose every bit of self-respect you have, your squad’s group chat head pops into existence. You’ve been saved! Or so you thought. “Who you takin’ out this Valentine’s”, your heart drops as you finish. “Jake, tell me you’re taking someone out this year! It’s been forever and you’re still not dating anyone!” Your heart hits rock bottom.

“Jake, tell me you’re taking someone out this year! It’s been forever and you’re still not dating anyone!” “Jake, tell me you’re taking someone out this year! It’s been forever…” Jake, tell me you’re taking someone out this year!” Jake, tell me you’re taking someone out…” Jake, tell me..” “Jake…” “…” These words bounce back and forth between your mind and your heart as you stare aimlessly at the wall as if looking at the void face-to-face. “…do I need to take someone out?” DO you? Do you really need one? Says who? What happens if you have no one? Does it make you less human? Less of a person? Then why do you, why do they tell us we need a date? Take a step back and look at things in a new perspective (ba dum tsss). Really, Panic! At The Disco puns aside, take a step back. Where does this “need” come from? Why do we even celebrate Valentine’s day at all? Why?

WHAT VALENTINE’S

A bit of history wouldn’t hurt. “…the popular customs of showing love and affection on St. Valentine’s Day is almost a coincidence with the feast day of the saint…a common belief in England and France was that birds began to pair on Feb. 14…For this reason, the day was dedicated to “lover” and prompted the sending of letters, gifts, or other signs of affection.” “Uhmm…what did I just read“, is what you’re saying right now. “How on earth is Valentine’s day, the day of love, related to birds mating and a saint??? Saint Valentine??? “…was also arrested, condemned to death for his faith, beaten with clubs, and finally beheaded on Feb. 14, AD 270. “YOU’RE NUTS, I’m not reading this any further you whackjob. I’m unfollowing this.” Be my guest. But for those of you who stayed, I understand how this all must feel. How does a beheaded saint connect to a day of love? Does it mean that this tradition was brought about by confidence? Perhaps.

SHAKE IT OFF

Shake off the thoughts of a dead saint and mating birds and instead, focus on the matter at hand. Do you need a date? Let’s see. Having no date would make you: still you, still human, still the same, nothing’s changed. Hmm, interesting. Let’s go further. “On Feb. 14, people are going out on nice, expensive dates.” So? You can go out yourself then or in any other time of the year. Mind-blowing, right? It’s all smoke and mirrors, empty desires made necessities shoved into us by society’s equally empty beliefs. You don’t have to do it just because everyone else is. If you do find ‘that’ someone, cool. Make everyday Valentine’s day for him/her, that’ll make your relationship strong. If you don’t, that’s alright too! Don’t rush a relationship because you’re pressured to having one. It’s not fair for you and for the other person.

TWO IS BETTER THAN ONE, BUT NOT ALL THE TIME

So you’ve come to grips with not having a date and not forcing anything off of it. Now…what? What do you do? You discover yourself. “That’s freaking cheesy, man.” No, it’s not. Does doing things you like or doing things you’ve always wanted to do sound boring? Do what fulfills you. Love yourself! That way, you can free yourself from the insane thought that you are incomplete without someone. A lovely nightmare it may seem, it’s false. Think of all the priests, monks, nuns, and everyone else living “alone” but are genuinely happy. They exist and they’re contented. So could you. Let me make one thing clear: I’m not saying you should close your heart to love. I’m just dispelling the idea of you being dependent on someone else. You can be an independent person! You can be happy. IF and AND when the right one comes, you’ll be right and ready.

Surviving the Post-Christmas High

Posted on Dec 27, 2018 by Jk Andrew

If you’re like me, the Christmas high would all but be waning right now. We’ve all heard it before: “Christmas doesn’t feel as joyful like it did when we were young.” While it’s true for me and for a lot of sad kids (mine waned over a decade ago, I wrote about it here), I can’t speak for everyone. I knew I had to do something as I felt the final breaths of my Christmas high, and here I am, surviving my first time without it (died a few weeks ago). Lucky me! And as my initiative to turn things around and be the one who gives this time, allow me to share to you how I survived my first-ever post-Christmas high!

CREATE your reason to be happy

When I finally realized that the Spirit of Christmas left me (and in its wake, the memory of Christmases past which I call “its Body”), I was in shock. I stared at the walls of my room for what seemed like an eternity. Surely enough after some time, I woke up from the daze and acted. I can’t waste away like this, this can’t be it. With this new driving force behind me, I started to create a new meaning, a new definition, a new reason on why I should be happy for this season. If in the past my source of bliss was the gifts I unwrapped from under the Christmas tree, now it’s contemplating and appreciating the things and the people I have in my life. I know it might sound cheesy and cringe-worthy to some, but this is my new reason for being happy this season. Hopefully, you give it a try.

BUSY yourself

Don’t worry if the first one doesn’t work for you (it worked around 70% for me). This is what I did next when I realized that #1 wasn’t a complete remedy to my sorrows. I went into my room, locked the door, and pulled out my…sheets and sat down. I dropped everything I was doing and emptied my mind. I closed my eyes and began to ponder, “What could I do? How do I busy myself?” I thought of the things I needed to do, or wanted to do. As I continued to reflect, I remembered that I wanted to start blogging. I knew there were other sad kids like me, and I knew they needed help. Fortunately enough, I was able to learn from the sadness and manage to avoid falling into the same holes…well, most of the time. And that’s what I did. Upon becoming aware of myself, I acted and did what I needed to do. Viola, what you are reading now is a product of my self-actualization. What’s something you need or want to do? Is it to learn how to edit videos? To learn photoshop? To learn photography? I learned photography, too! Or is it something like starting a blog? Are you working on it? Start today!

GIVE

If you’re somehow like me (again) and you found joy in Christmases past from receiving a ton of gifts, then you definitely need to read through this one. Now that you, too, have a void in your heart where joy used to be, you need to do something about it. What can we do to upset this sadness? If before our joy is in receiving, why not flip the tables and give? Why not be the reason for someone else’s joy this Christmas? I hope you don’t get the wrong idea of me forcing you to buy gifts for other people. Although that would be awesome, please don’t limit the idea of gifts as something tangible or material. From the eternal words of Mindy from The Grim Adventures of Billy & Mandy, “My presence IS my present.” Spend time with people. With family. With friends. With that old lady across the street. With that homeless guy you walk pass by everyday. Maybe throw in some food or some clothes while you’re at it. Be the gift!

Occupying myself with these four things helped bring a new kind of joy in me. It was by creating new meaning that I finally got to focus on what or who truly matters this season. I learned to busy myself with things that helped me grow and be fulfilled as a person, but most importantly, I became mature enough to shine the spotlight over someone else. Instead of asking for things, I’m now beginning to find joy in giving to other people. Whatever I receive, I accept wholeheartedly. Oh, and here’s a bonus tip for you!

BONUS TIP!!

This for the history buffs and all the people who want a bit more brain food. All this talk about the “Spirit of Christmas” had me thinking a while back: “WHY do we celebrate Christmas? What is it really all about? Is there really a Santa Claus (hint, there was but he’s slimmer and different than the one we grew up with)” What I discovered had me on the edge. I could not believe it at first, but now I came into grips about the truth behind them! Click here for the truth behind Christmas!