Christmas | Jake's Little Void

How to reset your mind for 2019 without any brain transplant

Posted on Jan 5, 2019 by Jk Andrew

New Year 2019 was a blast! Fireworks popped from left and right despite them being illegal here in the Philippines (people will always find a way), food being as sinful as ever (sisig a-plenty with lechon backing it up)! It was a grand time for most of us, but what do we do now that the fireworks have stopped and that reality is beginning to strip away the lovely reverie created by the festivities? How do we deal with the ‘things‘ we set aside during the holidays? Assuming you’re one of the lucky ones who managed to sweep them under the rug temporarily.

DROP YOUR PHONE.
No I’m not saying you should literally drop your expensive new iPhone Xs (not that you’re ever going to do that). I’m saying that you should leave your phone behind or stop excessively being on social media if you are like most people, myself included. I am beginning to correlate, based-off of personal experiences, that the more I use social media, the greater the “noise” is in my mind. This “noise” triggers a switch which causes me to get anxious and later on feel sad, hopeless, and guilty altogether. It’s not a fun fruit salad. A study actually backs up this experience of mine! Hooray! My agony is something useful! I’m not saying we should stop using social media altogether, what I AM saying is we should navigate these waters well! And by navigate I mean know when we’re using them too much that we begin wasting time.

MOVE YOUR BODY
HERE ME OUT before you close this tab! OKAY if you’ve spotted the grammatical error and batted an eye roll, can you at least see this through? I discovered that working out does wonders for your mind (and body, too!). It doesn’t have to be the back-breaking stereotype we see. It can be as as calm as yoga, or a bit of core workout, or even a 30 minute jog! Starting is the hardest part, but once you get past that initial hurdle, it only gets easier! The point of remotely wanting to work out is not only to get a toned and healthy body, it’s also to de-stress your mind or to remove the clutter that clogs it.

WE NEED TO SEE OTHER PEOPLE
It doesn’t need to be a shrink (but that could work wonders). It’s anyone you trust! I know it initially sounds cheesy but there is something about face-to-face interaction — being there at the moment — that no online conversation can replace. Perhaps it’s the human element or the spirit that makes it unique. “But what do we talk about, Mr. Void?” Brilliant question! Simple answer! Anything! Talk about whatever you want to! The latest buzz in pop culture? The latest indie film? The looming fear of the unknown? What lies beneath the known universe? Anything! Just make sure the person you want to talk to wants or is at least willing to listen to you.

*Random indie film GIF, not some signal to make out with anyone*

TAKE ‘EM DOWN
No I do NOT mean take someone down. I meant take down your thoughts and write them on a journal. I cannot stress this enough as seen from my past blog that JOURNALING 👏 HELPS 👏 BIG 👏 TIME 👏. Whether you’re having a horrid day because you spilled a cup of coffee on your favourite shirt, or having an awesome nap on the way to work and waking up just a a stoplight away from your stop, writing down your thoughts and emotions will help you a lot! Journaling helps relieve us from stress and excessive emotions that might cause toxicity later on. Still think I’m joking? Then why am I still writing this to you? 😉

NO TALKING IN THE LIBRARY
So many people take meditation or even prayer for granted, some even smirk at them. But little did they know, actually even I, that meditation has not one but several effects to our bodies that are proven by science! Among its many benefits to our mind and body, stress reduction, anxiety control, and increased self-awareness are what I consider the top three! You can read more about the other effects of meditation here!

“New year, new me” is what all the cool kids say, and nothing says a fresh new you than having a calm mind and putting more attention your mental health. Use your phone only when you need to. Talk to your family and friends. Write your thoughts. Value silence and alone time. And for God’s sake, hit the gym or hit the road. Chin up and keep smiling! 🌹

Surviving the Post-Christmas High

Posted on Dec 27, 2018 by Jk Andrew

If you’re like me, the Christmas high would all but be waning right now. We’ve all heard it before: “Christmas doesn’t feel as joyful like it did when we were young.” While it’s true for me and for a lot of sad kids (mine waned over a decade ago, I wrote about it here), I can’t speak for everyone. I knew I had to do something as I felt the final breaths of my Christmas high, and here I am, surviving my first time without it (died a few weeks ago). Lucky me! And as my initiative to turn things around and be the one who gives this time, allow me to share to you how I survived my first-ever post-Christmas high!

CREATE your reason to be happy

When I finally realized that the Spirit of Christmas left me (and in its wake, the memory of Christmases past which I call “its Body”), I was in shock. I stared at the walls of my room for what seemed like an eternity. Surely enough after some time, I woke up from the daze and acted. I can’t waste away like this, this can’t be it. With this new driving force behind me, I started to create a new meaning, a new definition, a new reason on why I should be happy for this season. If in the past my source of bliss was the gifts I unwrapped from under the Christmas tree, now it’s contemplating and appreciating the things and the people I have in my life. I know it might sound cheesy and cringe-worthy to some, but this is my new reason for being happy this season. Hopefully, you give it a try.

BUSY yourself

Don’t worry if the first one doesn’t work for you (it worked around 70% for me). This is what I did next when I realized that #1 wasn’t a complete remedy to my sorrows. I went into my room, locked the door, and pulled out my…sheets and sat down. I dropped everything I was doing and emptied my mind. I closed my eyes and began to ponder, “What could I do? How do I busy myself?” I thought of the things I needed to do, or wanted to do. As I continued to reflect, I remembered that I wanted to start blogging. I knew there were other sad kids like me, and I knew they needed help. Fortunately enough, I was able to learn from the sadness and manage to avoid falling into the same holes…well, most of the time. And that’s what I did. Upon becoming aware of myself, I acted and did what I needed to do. Viola, what you are reading now is a product of my self-actualization. What’s something you need or want to do? Is it to learn how to edit videos? To learn photoshop? To learn photography? I learned photography, too! Or is it something like starting a blog? Are you working on it? Start today!

GIVE

If you’re somehow like me (again) and you found joy in Christmases past from receiving a ton of gifts, then you definitely need to read through this one. Now that you, too, have a void in your heart where joy used to be, you need to do something about it. What can we do to upset this sadness? If before our joy is in receiving, why not flip the tables and give? Why not be the reason for someone else’s joy this Christmas? I hope you don’t get the wrong idea of me forcing you to buy gifts for other people. Although that would be awesome, please don’t limit the idea of gifts as something tangible or material. From the eternal words of Mindy from The Grim Adventures of Billy & Mandy, “My presence IS my present.” Spend time with people. With family. With friends. With that old lady across the street. With that homeless guy you walk pass by everyday. Maybe throw in some food or some clothes while you’re at it. Be the gift!

Occupying myself with these four things helped bring a new kind of joy in me. It was by creating new meaning that I finally got to focus on what or who truly matters this season. I learned to busy myself with things that helped me grow and be fulfilled as a person, but most importantly, I became mature enough to shine the spotlight over someone else. Instead of asking for things, I’m now beginning to find joy in giving to other people. Whatever I receive, I accept wholeheartedly. Oh, and here’s a bonus tip for you!

BONUS TIP!!

This for the history buffs and all the people who want a bit more brain food. All this talk about the “Spirit of Christmas” had me thinking a while back: “WHY do we celebrate Christmas? What is it really all about? Is there really a Santa Claus (hint, there was but he’s slimmer and different than the one we grew up with)” What I discovered had me on the edge. I could not believe it at first, but now I came into grips about the truth behind them! Click here for the truth behind Christmas!

How I lost Christmas…and how I found it again.

Posted on Dec 24, 2018 by Jk Andrew

Sadness doesn’t choose when. It cares not if it’s your anniversary with your girlfriend or if it’s your folks’. It cares not if you’re having the best day of your life because you finally hung out with friends you haven’t seen in months. Hell, sadness doesn’t even care if it’s the birthday of an almighty Deity. Nothing seems to be spared from the gaping emptiness sadness gifts to everything it encounters. Not even the divine.

Christmas time has always been something to look forward to, especially to us Filipinos who begin celebrating it as late as the first second of September. Just this year I witnessed our vice mayor blast Christmas In Our Hearts by Jose Mari Chan, the grand daddy of Filipino Christmas music. It was August 31, my dear readers. As the years went by, the Spirit of Christmas showed no signs of waning. Perhaps it was my fault for taking it for granted (really, it was just me lowkey expecting kickass gifts from my parents). Eleven years. Eleven blissful Christmases. The Spirit waned when I was 12, after having found out that there was no gift under the tree for me, and how that was a stark reality I had to accept and get used to from then on.

I didn’t adapt so well. Year after year, I was forced to witness the thing I loved slowly wither and die. Like a child who braved to see his first pet be ‘put down’, I was in pain. It was a pain that doesn’t sting but one that gnaws you from the inside until there is nothing left. It was this year when the Spirit died. Now I’m left carrying its corpse and to occasionally waving its lifeless body at people who cheerily greet “Merry Christmas!” The Spirit left but its body remained. “What do I do with it now?“, a recurring line from my daily monologue. This void left by the Spirit, sorrow immediately made its home. A soul-crushing remorse from Christmases past. It was a sadness unlike any other. A sadness so sly but made its presence know from the dread it loomed above my head. It threatened to swallow my sanity to the point that I can barely feel anything at all. Almost not even the sadness itself.

I contemplated, and contemplated, and contemplated. For days, I thought of nothing else but why. Why did I lose that joy? Why do I barely feel anything anymore? Why does this sadness crush me so greatly that there’s almost nothing left to feel? It was then when someone whispered materialism. It was the gifts. The Spirit waned when the gifts stopped coming. Maybe it wasn’t the Spirit of Christmas I was celebrating all this time. Maybe it was something different altogether.

“But as it took its last breath and left, I realized something that’s now slowly changing me.”

Those were long, grueling years in pursuit of a dying Spirit. But as it took its last breath and left, I realized something that’s now slowly changing me. For the better. I’m free. We’re free. Free to make meaning. It was when I realized this that I was able to free myself from the sadness that bound me to the past. We’re free to make our own traditions. We’re free to make new meaning for things. Gifts may stop coming. Surprises will stop…surprising us. People can leave. Families may not spend Christmas together (though hopefully not). But I tell you this, no matter how bad it gets, our happiness is in our hands and we are the ones to decide what makes us happy.

Merry Christmas! Chin up and keep smiling!